The Last Amazing

GREETINGS, true believers! Have we got an action-packed, astounding issue for you today! The best one yet- yes, even better than last time when we said the same thing! It’s the tale of a lone man from that dizzying center of the world, NEW YORK itself, who’s just arrived on the scene of a genre long thought dead! Wow! What head-spinning dark doings will guide this GRAPHIC GUIGNOL back from its gory grave?

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Snippet: One Giant For Mankind

The new terraforming project was going splendidly, thanks to a combination of ancient DNA and cloning technology.  I stood looking down at what was technically empty space, but by complicated calculations based on the nearness of the sun was that beautiful, magic, invisible ring of habitable zone that our species could thrive in.

"Cloning vat's done, sir." I was told by an orderly.  I looked back at the vast tank with the impossibly large figure in it.  I nodded at them to begin.

We found the DNA in the Scandinavian region, of course.  I forget if it was Norway or maybe Finland.  The latest clone was deemed viable, and the surgical tools moved in to begin.

From the body, first we created the earth of the new planet, flesh into rock, bones into hills, hair into plant life, and then atmosphere from the brains and skull . The blood we spilled to create the oceans.  Everything fell into place and expanded to our exact needs, all according to the calculations of the flesh-to-firmament formula.

A few last touches to the continental shapes here and there from whatever organs and gristle we had left, and voila.  A new planet, ripe for colonization.

"Start up another Frost Giant." I said.  "We've got two more star systems to go this quarter."




The Meme Wizard

The guys and I were all sitting around just chatting when I invited them over to watch the game.  There were nods and agreements all around, except Hank, who put up his palms, smiled, and said, "Sorry, can't."

   I asked why, and he said, "I answered a meme, remember?"

   "Oh right." said Tony.  "The wizard."  There were murmurs of recognition and remembrance from the others.

   "Wait, the what?" I asked.

   They looked at me.  "Oh, right." said Tony.  "You don't use facebook.  You wouldn't have heard about this one."

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